Whod you bang
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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