No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
