Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
