this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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