even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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