Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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