I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
