And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
