I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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