did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
