she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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