I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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