what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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