I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
