Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
