So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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