my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
