i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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