I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
