You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
