she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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