No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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