shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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