GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
