If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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