Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
