Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
