with your own penis?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
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