Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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