What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
