im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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