I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
