put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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