i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
