Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
