U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
