you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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