And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
zippers are such a cool invention
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
