Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
