I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's just like the Real World with babies
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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