you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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