Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
