:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
