I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
