so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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