Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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