I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
