Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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