Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize