Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
