your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
