i already hear my dad disowning me
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
