Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
