operation harelip BJ is a go
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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