The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
