just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize