i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
