Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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