How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
