Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
