dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
