I will die if light touches me.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
