Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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