Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
