Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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