dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
