Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
this boner is exhausting
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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