WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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