There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
