Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
