Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize