The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
