I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
