there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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