he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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