My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
