Kareoke will never be a sober sport
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
NoShamevember. You game?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
